…“Now I have a place to put my hand.”

Recently on Van Halen’s official news page, there was a list put up for a supposed upcoming tour. Look at the end of that list — Worcester, MA. Worcester?! Maybe back in 1990, but now? Either this is a tour list for ten years ago, VH is sadly more in the toilet than I thought, or this is a load of crap. Probably all of the above.

UPDATE: It turns out the rumors are true. But is it just me, or does Eddie look a hell of a lot like a skinnier Ozzy?

UPDATE: I typed up a quasi-review of the concert in Worcester here.

Just caught this important message from the AMA. Stragely the picture looks fine to me, while the rest of this page is shaky. Curious.

In this eerie story on Yahoo! News, Michael Jackson approached director Kevin Smith to direct him in a movie about a man who turns into a car that gets ridden around by a boy. The proposed title of the film, and Smith says this is no lie, was “Hot Rod.”

I hereby proclaim Michael Jackson’s nickname to no longer be “Jacko” and instead be “Hot Rod.” UUGGH….nevermind, I can’t even find a little humor in that.

I’m not sure what lead me to this today, but I was checking some voicenotes I left on my cellphone, and one of them from weeks ago simply said “quotes by Marcel Proust”. So after a quick search, I found some. Now I know why I made mention of them to myself to check them out:

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy: They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

“The one thing more difficult than following a regimen is not imposing it on others.”

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

“People can have many different kinds of pleasure. The real one is that for which they will forsake the others.”

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take us or spare us.”

“Desire makes everything blossom; possession makes everything wither and fade.”

Got this sent to me via email today. Not sure who to credit it to, so here ‘goes:

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one.

Please don’t answer it without giving it some serious thought.

By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for the test to work accurately.

YOUR TEST

You’re in Florida…In Miami, to be exact…

There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods …….

There are huge masses of water all over you….

You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You’re trying to shoot very impressive photos.

There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water.

Nature is showing all its destroying power and is ripping everything away with it.

Suddenly you see a woman in the water, she is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud.

You move closer. Somehow the woman looks familiar.

Suddenly you know who it is - it’s Hillary Clinton!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her away, forever.

You have two options.
You can save her or …..
you can take the best photo of your life.

You can save the life of Hillary Clinton, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo.

A unique photo displaying the death of one of the soon to be world’s most powerful women. (well…maybe just a wanna be)

Now here’s the question:

(Please be honest)

Would you select color film, or go with classic black and white?

Remember the 2000 election, with all those problems in Florida over miscounted votes and hanging chads? Well, seems like you should be getting ready for it again. From the article:

“Florida elections workers were counting ballots by hand — again — on Wednesday after improperly coded ballots appeared to give former presidential candidate Rep. Dick Gephardt a decisive win in one Panhandle county.”

Poor Dick. It was so unfathomable that he’d win the vote that they just knew something was wrong. Nothing like having improbable outcomes to flush out a system’s bugs. Maybe Dick should call for a recount, dammit!

Florida — Helping those who don’t give a shit about voting laugh since 2000.